just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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