my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
