If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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