Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
