yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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