I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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