i was born a porn star she said
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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