I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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