just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
