Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
