I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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