That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
