Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You pole danced in your parka.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
