he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
