Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
