You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
