from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
