Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
