I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
