Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm really busy with my period
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