Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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