Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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