I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
