He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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