OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
