I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
