unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
