My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Acid is not a monday night drug
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
