How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
