hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
