god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
