omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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