I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
