Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
