i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
