Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want to be your penis for a week.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
