i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
