9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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