you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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