In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
