I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
