we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
