we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
