pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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