Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You are the jesus of drinking
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
