hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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