I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
