her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
