take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
