i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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