3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
