My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
