why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
