I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize