if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
