Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
