I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
