I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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