just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize