Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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