So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
