Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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