I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
