I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
