In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
